


Cuts And Bruises

by Evenseven



Category: Gomorra - La Serie | Gomorrah (TV)
Genre: Alpha!Genny, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, Love Confessions, M/M, No Beta, Non-Linear Narrative, Omega in disguise!Ciro, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Self-Hatred, Verbal Abuse, Warning: low quality shit, big bad OC fic, but just a little bit, just hurt no comfort, mention of canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-10 04:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evenseven/pseuds/Evenseven
Summary: Unexpected intruder. Revealing past.Drastic confrontation. Shattered hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ciro whump basically? Heavy angst and dark ahead?  
Since we are here and I got my laptop back, might as well post this shit. Low quality fic warning is not a joke.  
Sequel to my ABO verse 1(.5) in [Rare Loot Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315744/chapters/46010281), please read those first.  
Or better, don't read any really.

**0 / Sliced Bleeding Skin**

Genny Savastano was sipping on his Germany-imported stout beer when he heard a knock at the door, which stirred his distracted thoughts about the fucked-up situation he’s in with family separated and brother disconnected, things just went all the way south and it didn’t get any better though he finally reunited with Ciro. The knock on the door was short but heavy, Genny didn’t hear any more noise which made him even more paranoid. He put down the beer bottle and reach a hand under the sofa seat, where a 9mm was hidden and loaded for this exact incident, or potential one.

He had no idea at all who would knock on his door at midnight, and he had almost all the lights in his house off so whoever there was on the other side of the door must be well aware when he came back home, or, pure luck which he doubted.

He slowly approached the front door, trying his best to avoid making any noise with each step until he finally arrived at the end of the dark alleyway, he took a deep breath before cautiously looking through the door viewer.

Genny sighed in relief when he saw the familiar figure and shinny earring behind the door, he turned on the light inside the house before opening the door. But his heart dropped once again when he opened the door, the light from outside delineated the precise scene of what’s really happening right now.

The Ciro Di Marzio that’s standing outside of this door was not in his usual look, not the clothes, because he had a light sweater and jacket hoodie all the way up covered his head, but his face…the beautiful cheekbones colored with bruises, dark plum lips twisted by fresh cut and dried blood, the purple and red marks from his collarbones up are too bright to ignore, and he had one hand covered the side of his body, indicating more damages under those soft fabric.

What the fuck?

Well Genny knew this look, only he was the one beaten up and damaged not long ago, stumbling through Ciro’s hotel room door like a defeated animal.

“Ciru’…What the fuck happened?” He didn’t even know he’s more shocked or pissed, seeing Ciro like this, hurt and disfigured like he wasn’t broken and weary enough.

“Can I come in?” Ciro didn’t answer the question but responded with a sigh, he sounded a lot more peaceful and careless than his look. Genny let in and closed the door behind him, noticing his own hands were shaking a little, and he was afraid to figure out the answer.

Ciro sat down on the side sofa without a word, he lighted up a cigarette and started smoking, kept ignoring the other’s concerned look. “Oh Ci’, what is this? You don’t fucking come into my house and just smoke. Explain!” Genny didn’t like how he look, how he was still trying to hide his bruised face under the hood.

“Genna’,” He finally said, “I need to ask you for a favor.”

“Speak.” Genny was clenching his teeth hard, the face behind the floating smoke was blurred and miserable in a desperate way, like the man in front of him was fading, both inside and outside.

“I need a place to be, a…safe house, whatever, I don’t really care, but I can’t go back to my hotel anymore.” Ciro kept his eyes fixed on the ground when he said the plead that Genny couldn’t understand at all.

“Why? Who are you hiding from?” He sat down in front of Ciro, resting his arms on the keens, this feeling of unawareness wasn’t making him any easy, “What happened? And who the fuck did this to you?” He had so many questions in mind and the fury of seeing the only man he cared about hurt like this wasn’t helping either, he raised a hand to pushed Ciro’s cigarette away tying to get a better look at his face. When he tried to get his hood off, Ciro backed off slightly and kept avoiding Genny’s eyes, but he succeed anyway. Now he had a much clearer view on the other’s face, and all the bruises seemed so fresh and nasty, must had been a brutal beating he took, yet Genny noticed his knuckles as well, the redness there showed that he wasn’t trying very hard to fight back. So who the fuck dared to do this to him? More important, he just took the abuse like that? And the bruises on his neck were not scratch marks, they were fucking fingerprints, someone was chocking him maybe just half an hour ago! Genny didn’t get any response immediately, so he kept pushing: “Who was it? Did they…the system find out you are back? Or was that _Sangue Blu_?”

Ciro finally looked up from the floor and frowned: “No, none of that, it’s…personal business. You don’t need to know, alright? I just need a place…”

“Yeah, right, fucking _personal business_ you have. Ciro, if you are asking me for a favor, I thought I have the right to know.” Genny tried to calm his tone, but the melancholy and lonely look Ciro gave him was too much to take, “Damn it, Ciru’, I’m not letting this go! You need to fucking tell me what’s happening and who is after you right now. I trust you with all my heart, so why can’t you just trust me?”

They looked at each other in silence for a while, and Ciro finally opened his mouth: “That is exactly what I’m afraid of, that you would not let this go.”

“I’m not the dumb kid any more, Ciru’, and I’m not that little toy of yours in Furcella, no one’s telling me what and what not to do, I make my own decisions. But I’m telling you right now, I will find out one way or another.” He stared deep into Ciro’s eyes, tying to act less aggressive but failed, yet he didn’t care much as long as he get the reactions we wanted, “Besides, I thought you told me your biggest secret a year ago already.”

Ciro was obviously not very impressed about his truculence, but he put out the cigarette butt before a long sigh: “You need to know, Genna’… I didn’t mean to drag you into any of this at all, I’m sorry. And I didn’t mean to…let you know that I’m an Omega.”

Fucking hell! He’s still trying to apologize for the only thing he didn’t need to apologize for!

“Look, Ciro, I have enough of this now. I don’t know what your stupid plan was before, and I don’t care anymore, I just want you to know that right now, you can trust me, I…I won’t hurt you, not any more, no mater what it is, I’ll help but you need to come clean with me!”

Ciro studied his tensed face for a while, then his cut lips opened up: “Genna’, if you want to know any of this, I need you to stay calm ok?”

“How am I be able to stay calm when you are beaten up like this, showing up homeless and miserable in front of my door?” Genny stood up from the sofa and started pacing anxiously inside the room, yet he knew if he just lost it right there, he would never be able to hear the answers, “Fuck, I will try to keep calm, I’ll try…”

Ciro took a deep breath before he began: “I…I wasn’t always like this, Genna’, I really wasn’t. You know the story of how I became an orphan and that I grew up in an orphanage, but it wasn’t that easy back then.

“When I was really young, I was naive and ignorant, it’s just I never had the chance to know about anything outside of the orphanage, and I thought it was dark enough inside. I was young and arrogant because I was the Immortale, I thought I could do whatever I wanted when I grew up. But I was wrong, I was so wrong that it became a sick joke on me, that I turned out to be a fucking Omega. And things went only downwards after that, you can see why, but I was forced to face the reality when I was not prepared well enough to face.

“You see, the darkness of the real world came in, they taught me things that an ‘Omega’ supposed to do, forced me to accept that I was lower than all the others, that I had to obey everything they said…I didn’t want to accept it, but I knew nothing back then, I thought it was the fate for me and I was made this way, couldn’t truly be loved by anyone, so I…accepted it.

“Then I was sent to this family…I met Antoine, an Alpha, let’t say, a brother of mine when I was young, then became my first and last Alpha. He mated me when I was seventeen, not that I really had a choice, but I accepted it anyway, so it was part of my fault when the things…got nasty later on.”

Ciro stopped there for a second, the cloudy expression on his face was so heavy that Genny clenched his teeth again. Seeing Ciro seemed to fall into some kind of memory loop, he decided to ask the questions: “So what happened later on? And was this guy…beat you up like this tonight?”

Ciro seemed to wake up from the memory only after he heard Genny’s question. “Well, it’s not the first time Anton did something like that, but yes, I’m…concerned now he’s after me, so I really could do with a safe house.”

Genny blinked a few times tying to interpret his words: “What…what do you mean? You saying that this Anton guy beat you up multiple times? Your Alpha used to…like, a domestic abuse?”

It took Ciro a long silent pause to consider his words, he bit down slightly on his lower lip: “Back then it was more like…I thought I did something wrong so he didn’t like me or had to…But yeah, it was basically like that, he came home everyday pissed and took his rage out on me, and I was already so numbed that I…Anyway, it wasn’t a pleasant time of my life, I rarely have those, but that period particular, because I was so stupid that I just let all this happened. I could take it, I was fine, until I had Mariarita and that monster tried to reach his evil hands to my little girl. Everything was a blur that night, I remember being so frightened and furious, so I ran out with my girl and never went back.”

The heaviness of Ciro’s words stunned him so forcefully that he almost forgot to breathe, only it was not a story in some tragedies or TV shows, it was the real life experience of Ciro, of the man he cared so much about and it created a wave of sadness and anger that almost crashed him right here right now. Genny never thought this always confident and sophisticate guy in front of him would have such a horrified experience in his life, for what he could recall, Ciro was already sharp, composed, and ambitious like in those peak days when they first met in his teens.

“So you know bascially the rest of the story,” Ciro continued after a few deep breathes, “Attilio took me in when he found me wandering alone in the city with only my little girl, he was…he took care of me and treated me like his real son. I was so confused at first, thought he wanted something from me but I had nothing left to give. Then I was more confused because I saw the world clearer when I finally left the suffocative cage, and I realized it was the whole world treating me dirty and unfair. Sure an Omega I am, so what? I could’ve done so much better than those cocky dumb Alphas, as long as I opened my eyes. I became angry and lost, still naive but aggressive and ambitious, thinking how I could be on top and eat the whole city from inside, how I had been wasting all these years for the pleasure of others. So I took the pills, pretended to be a Beta and started my days in the Savastano clan, and I met you. The pills were pretty nasty at first, but it repressed all the symptoms and weakness of being an Omega, I took it long enough and it broke the bond I had with Anton. And I survived it, like a real fucking Immortale, until everything fell apart once again.

“This time it was really me…I met Deborah, the only one in this world I knew could love me like I was not a pathetic broken mess, but I got too greedy and blinded. When she threatened me that she would take away my girl and leave me, I truly was freaking out. I couldn’t see a thing, the pills were messed with me hard as well, I lost Attilio and Mariarita, killed my love with my own hands, I…I guess I was wrong again all this time, I am indeed flaw by design, it was just me being too arrogant to see the truth, that I am no worth from the beginning, and all the vices happened to me because I well deserve it.”

“Fucking hell, Ciro! How many times do I have to tell you, you are saying just nonsense? This fucking Anton guy sounds like a total shithead and abusive motherfucker that should be dead a million times now, because you, Ciru’, you are the most…beautiful human being I’ve seen and never deserve any of that bullshit!” Genny just couldn’t hold it any longer when he heard Ciro whining about how miserable and pathetic he was, because he would never see him like that. Anger in his vines blasted out so fast when he saw Ciro remained silence in denial, so he sat downand fisted loudly onto the soft handle, “Fuck! That’s no way anyone should treat you like that, and certainly not how an Alpha treats their mate. I’m so sorry, Ciru’, and I know you don’t want any pity, but I just wanna blast that shithead’s brain out now because he dares to do something like that to you, to a brother, a friend of mine, to someone I truly care about! I…I just don’t understand how could you stand this now, after all these years and you still let him beat you up like this…Did he ever bother you again, after you ran away?”

“No, I was…afraid so I laid low for a while before I entered the system. All these years I learned to protect myself, I changed my look, and after the bond was gone, I thought he had moved on already, and I was just an entertaining property for him anyway. But he suddenly showed up tonight, even more pissed than I thought he would, apparently never move on just yet. I tried to fight back, but looking at his face reminds me…” He avoided Genny’s eyes again, yet Genny didn’t need a close-up to notice the melancholy wave in Ciro’s redden eyes, he looked like he almost let the tears drop, “He reminds me of Mariarita, my love, my little girl, Anton is her father as well, and I just couldn’t get the gun out and cut the last link to my daughter…I’m weak, pathetic, stupid even, Genna’, can’t you see now? I was never be able to achieve those grand plans I had in mind, that was just a blow of my dream, bubbles I convinced myself to live in. None of those is real, and I never have anyone, apart from those I killed with my own hands.”

Genny reached out a hand to cup Ciro’s face, but the latter shivered slightly in reflection, and that almost made Genny want to cry before him again. But he promised himself he would never do that again, just to show that he was not that retarded dumb kid anymore, he could be a grow man, a proper Alpha, a true mature that Ciro could always rely on when he needed to. So he held his breath deep and steady when his fingers land on that now bruised honey skin, this time Ciro didn’t flinch. The skin under his fingers was colder than his own body temperature, it must have been a rough night for him, running away from both a violent demon and his past, his skin cut by sharp fingers, his own blood, and the cold wind. The Immortale had walked through thousands of winter nights like this before, and how many did he ever reach out to seek help? Rarely, because he walked alone and fought alone.

“Ciru’, I’m really sorry, but I need you to listen to me for this one ok? You have to…get over with all the past now, I’m sorry, but Mariarita wouldn’t want to see her daddy hurt and depressed like this. And this Anton? He needs to pay this fucking debt.”

The tip of his thumb brushed tenderly through the dark fans of curly lashes, where it’s all humid and shaking slightly. “How could I? Genna’, how could I cut the last string to someone I’ve already lost? I don’t…hate him that much now, not as much as years ago. Anton may be a dickhead, but he gave me my girl, and that was about the best thing ever happened to me. I don’t care him moving on or not, I don’t want the revenge or more consolidation of my past, he is irrelevant now, I just want to lay low for a while and he’ll be pissed off somewhere else.”

“This is not doing you any good! You have a life to live! And what if he comes back some other days, beating you up like this again or doing something even worse?” Genny took his hand away from the other’s face, tying to hide his anger shivers when Ciro tore his gaze away.

He promised he had tried, but how could he ever take something like this in and seal it inside his heart, pretending nothing ever happened? Even though he was never the heroic kind, he well understood this man before him was being abused by some ruthless Alpha. How dare they did something like this to Ciro, to _his_ Ciro? Even if Ciro said he’s done with revenge, he could never just let this go without crashing the skull of that heartless Alpha after all the vices he had done to the only man in this world he cared.

“Honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care. I just don’t want this to interfere our plan with Enzo, at this moment Enzo could be tying to find me, and if I’m not there or talking about business while worrying my door would be blasted at any time, our plan would be screwed.”

Yeah, fuck that plan, fuck all this, we could take care of that dickhead and make a new plan, we would always find a way as long as we are together, and…

But no, the definite spark inside Ciro’s eyes told him otherwise. And Genny just had to swallow the blade and followed the plan, because the one got cut and bruised was not him, it was another man that had nothing to do with Genny Savastano. He had no say after all, they were nothing more than allies, right? Not even friends, definitely not brother, or something else even more intimate for any of them to admit, and this was how they wanted the world to believe, how they wanted themselves to believe. So he just had to shut the fuck up and take that fury out somewhere else that no one cared, keep on pretending and playing the game.

He bit down on his lips so hard that he could taste the rust inside hie mouth, the anger burnt his eyesight and everything within it. He must had been considered for too long that let Ciro decided to keep pushing: “Genna’, you know a safe house is the best for our plan, this way I can keep pushing Enzo to the way we want him to go, and it’s the best way you can get Azzurra and Pietro back. Besides, I would really appreciate it…”

“Fucking hell! Fuck your appreciation!” Genny exploded in disbelief, yet he tried to repress the irritation. If he would be a bit more cold-hearted, if he had slightly less affection for Ciro, he would love to punch the face of this guy himself and slice him up just to see what sort of shit is inside this non-stoping scheming brain.

I get it, you have a fucking smart ass, always have a shit plan and wouldn’t let anything interfere with it. But who the hell do you think I am? You’re asking me like it’s your sacrifice to make to benefit me, and I’m just using you as a wining mechanism and none of your business matters to me as long as I get what I want in the end.

“Look, if you want a safe house, I’ll get you one, but I’m not doing this for your fucking appreciation.”

Ciro blinked slowly fixing his gaze on the floor, then a soft whisper muffled by the heavy air: “I know.”

“You know nothing! Shut up and stop pissing me off!” Genny just couldn’t hear all this bullshit over again, he slammed his fist down the sofa handle once more, he got out his phone while tearing his eyes away from the stoic face in front of him, “I’m telling you now, this fucking Anton guy is seriously annoying me. So if he ever shows up again, I’ll take care of that shithead and I’ll do it for _my_ sake.”

For this one time, Ciro actually listened to him and kept silent just like how he asked, and for some unnamed reasons Genny felt relief and disappointment at the same time. He managed to let the taciturn time passed without breaking his own plead, focusing on finding a place for Ciro. He had a few rather secret spots inside and around Naples that he visited once or twice since he first came back from South America, being paranoid and realizing someday he may need these safe house for himself or his families, but things didn’t quite go as plan. He kept those spots anyway, which he was glad he did and now he had something to offer at least.

But it shouldn’t be like this, it never should, yet they ended up in this situation somehow, Genny just had to digest the fact that they’re nothing more than allies. He wouldn’t come to me at all if I had nothing to offer. Offering helps to each other in the name of family and revenge, making compromises only to secure the perfect plan they had, and those vain appreciation like he knew he was only using him and Genny was still some perverts doing all of this for a piece of Omega ass. He fucking hated all of this, hated how he just let it keep going and destroying their already ruptured bond, hated how mastery Ciro was in lying and masquerading everything, so he wouldn’t be able to know if it was another manipulated showcase he was in.

Yet he did nothing, nothing but walking into his deception and voluntarily filling the bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really bad. I don't know what I'm doing. Some worthless shit.  
What's my famous line again? Yeah, I'm sorry.. :/


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this but since when do I ever like anything I've written or myself?  
Emm, my kitten...'m sorry?? ;_;

**-3 / Savage Nightmare**

Ciro Di Marzio was walking though the dark alley when he heard a devious muffled laugh around the back corner. A strange premonition gave him spine chill, but he didn’t stop his pace to turn around.

It was a rather chilly night yet he happened to run out of cigarettes, and he couldn’t remember the last time he actually left this shitty hotel. He had been living a life ordering beers and food delivery by phone or the lady at hotel registration counter who was nice or careless enough to never ask a question, there was no need to leave his room whatsoever. Sometimes he would watch the TV in his room, more like turning it on and listening to the non-stoping sound and vague graphic connecting aimlessly in the corner of his eyes, more often he would just find somewhere in the room to sit down and have a smoke. it didn’t matter if it’s the sofa, the dark corner beside the bed, or out in the balcony, he just needed a spot no one could see to crash down and let his body rest for a while. Well, when your mind was consistently thinking and drowning by darkness, resting your body was about the best thing you could do. He could never sleep well due to side effects of the suppressants, and after everything happened in the recent years, sleeping itself sounded like a bless. The benefit of not having to handle everything by his hands was he could just cram into a dark corner in some small hotel room, waiting for Enzo or others’ phone calls while letting his body physically burned out so he could get some sleep.

He could do with beers without proper chilled glass or skipping one or two meals, as long as he had cigarettes in hand. Tonight he seemed to run out of luck, so when he dug through every corners and drawers still couldn’t find even a light-able cigarette butt, he decided it’s the time to put on a jacket and go get some packs at the store next street. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, since he lived his life on alcohol and nicotine now, he had little to no memory of the last time he had any decent food. It was probably the time Genny brought him some proper food when he was in…but that whole thing was a vague in his head, or that’s what he convinced himself to believe.

He still couldn’t believe he let all this happened, getting into an unforeseeable heat while Genny’s visiting him and actually humping onto the Alpha like a god damn slut he was. He should be grateful it was Genny though, if he was out with Enzo or some random people then who knew what kind of mighty sins would happen. Still his cheeks burnt in shame just thinking about it, letting Genny know his identity was already an irredeemable incident, but it didn’t mean he should just go all in, in fact, he would do anything to prevent that if he ever had a chance.

The worst of all, Ciro knew exactly the reason why he was so pissed at himself and his treacherous body, it came only to be clearer now against all the repressing and pretending he did to inhume. He never wanted their relationship to be like this, especially not after he reveled his identity. Genny Savastano was always special to him thought he wouldn’t admit, he had witnessed all the peaks in his life, though entangled with pain and loss as well. Ciro never wanted to show his weakness to anyone, especially not to the kid looking up to him and treating him as a genuine friend at a time, not to the man knew him more than anyone else left in this world. But he did already, acting like a useless dumbass couldn’t even control his own body, failing himself and all the expectations from the other man.

Enough of thinking about the pitiful bullshit he tried to bury up, now he just needed to walk down next street and get some smokes, he would get some food as well if any restaurant was still open, if not, he could live with cheap pizza and beer anyway. Didn’t want to stay too long in the chilly autumn night, he grasped the jacket collar tighter and hided himself deeper into the shade of the hood.

It was about this time when he heard the low voice coming from the back of the alley, this time even closer and clearer: “Oh Ciro, think you can run away from me like this again?”

Like a forceful strike of thunder, the voice froze all the blood in his veins and he just suddenly couldn’t even breathe anymore. The voice that haunted his mind for so many years, kept him awake in the cold nights, trapped him inside nightmares he never escaped… It couldn’t be him, could it?

More muffled laughs and heavy footsteps coming closer, all his survival instincts were telling him to run, yet he just suffocated in the cold air shivering like a leaf in the wind.

It would be the last chance to get away, but he missed it. One violent shove was enough to crash his shoulder to the obsolete painting wall, the figure came from the darkness now had him trapped between the man and a solid wall. Ciro was almost too terrified to raise his gaze to the offender’s face, yet when he slowly tipped up his head, the gloomy street light from the distant back illuminated only a vague outline, and it was horrific enough for him to almost panic with wide eyes.

“Now what is this? Can’t recognize your own Alpha?” One more shove to the shoulder and Ciro’s shoulder blades were slammed against the solid wall, he gasped out in a breath and studied the man’s face under the dim light.

It was really Antoine, the silky silver hair was still messy and untrimmed, deep royal blue eyes andthin lips, dark stubbles over the strong jawlines made him look much rougher than he remembered. Sure they had both aged a lot and the winkles were easier to spot, the mean grin that haunted him all these years in nightmare was something he would never mistaken. He was much taller than Ciro, and the shadow he created by trapping him against the wall was such a scary cage.

“Look at this…What the fuck have you done to yourself?” Anton reached out a hand to pull down the hood and another to grab his chin with forceful fingers, both the burning fingers and chilly air made Ciro shiver even more, “Shaved off your hair, and this disgusting beard? You used to be the prettiest slut in our neighborhood with that soft curls, now look at you! And taking those fucking pills pretending you’re a Beta, that’s how you tried to hide from me? Unfortunately, I know the smell of my own Omega…”

Anton leaned down his head to get a better sniff around his neck, the hawk nose almost brushed through his earring, Ciro startled into a violent shake, using all the strength that left to push the man away when he realized there’s no way to fall back anymore. “Get the fuck off me!”

The push made Anton fall back a few steps, apparently didn’t expect his revolt, his grin faded when he raised his right hand again, this time a powerful strike to Ciro’s face, resulting an echoing loud slap against the pale skin. Anton didn’t give him much time to breathe before delivering another punch to his stomach, it made him cough out but the other man grab his face with one hand yet again: “Forgot your manners before your Alpha? I would gladly remind you…” Another punch from the left to his stomach and he had to moan out in pain, “Remember who you are now? Shouldn’t have taken these pills, ey? Your scent is disgusting, too, I can smell the residual pheromone of another Alpha, you fucking whore! Running away from me and finding yourself other Alphas I see…”

Ciro clenched both his hands onto the wrist grabbing his chin, if he was not seriously freaking out right now he might stand a chance to win, but could barely tear the forceful hand off his face. “How…I thought you were…” He was so shocked that he couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Dead? No, I got cast out of the country thanks to you, stupid whore, and you’re going to pay for this.” A couple more violent punches landed on his body while he tried to hinder as best as he could, but the other man was strong and merciless that he felt like he’s only a sandbag enduring all the brutality.

“Get away…What the fuck do you want from me?” He managed to catch one of the coming fist as he tasted the blood in his mouth, his lip was burning as well, must had been cut bleeding. The Alpha spiked his pheromone tying to press him down, luckily he was still on suppressants so it didn’t make him instantly drop to the ground. Nonetheless, the extreme pressure in the air was still rather uncomfortable even for a Beta body, plus the anxiety was really choking him now, he needed to dig a way out of this.

“What do you think I want?” Anton was so outraged that he wouldn’t care if he crash a bone or two, Ciro was already falling to the ground when he kicked him a few more times, “I want my fucking Omega slut back, and I want you to pay for the suffering you had me going through.”

“No! I won’t yield any more.” If his voice was not so shaky, he might be a bit more convincing than right now, but Ciro leaned back against the solid wall, got himself back up with unsteady legs when Anton caught a break in between the beatings, “The Ciro Di Marzio you knew died a long time ago, and our bond was broken already.”

Anton just grinned: “It seems like you’ve been dead multiple times, Immortale…So if you die again, would anyone care about you?”

If I die again, would anyone care about me?

Probably not, because everyone I cared and cared about me was long gone already, I am alone, and will always be so. If I disappear in this dark alley tonight, would anyone come look for me, whip for me, light the candle and wish me rest in peace? No, no one, and I deserve no one.

_Genna’…_

Would he care if I die? Or would he be glad to be finally released from the suffocate bondage I set? But he came back for me…Or was it just because I was a shameful Omega in heat?

“See? I told you so, you are nothing, just a worthless bitch only good for getting bred, you got that?” Anton laughed, but it didn’t last long because Ciro threw a sudden punch to his face, knuckles crashing cheekbone, he spit out some blood and looked back into that dark eyes with disbelief.

Ciro didn’t answer any of that stupid rhetoric questions, he knew this guy was trying to manipulate him the same way he did more than a decade ago, and he was no longer naive and defenseless. At least that’s what he tying to show, pretending it was still in his peak days, when he had no fears or restriction, nothing could tie him down from greed and he would kill everyone who even dares to stand in his way.

But that was before…

Now he had nothing left, nothing to chase, nothing to believe in.

Maybe dying here tonight wasn’t such a bad thing, at least he could finally rest, no more nightmare keeping him awake at five in the morning, no more blood in his hands he could never wash away.

_Genna’…_

But not tonight, not right now, he still had one thing or two that he wanted to achieve before he could swallow the bullet, he wanted to help Genny get his family back and keep his promise to Enzo. He had lost everything, but Genny could still be happy with his family, and that would be just a little payback he could give as the absolution for playing with his food all these years. And that’s probably the reason why Genny still cared about him right? He had offered the best he could do, and Genny would appreciate his help.

Anton cursed out loud and stood back up, left hand caught Ciro’s second swift attack, right hand reached straight to the other man’s throat. His fingers sinking in the fragile skin there in a hast so that Ciro’s rising knee lost its power when it connected to Anton’s rib. He had to use both hands to try to break free from the merciless choke, but the Alpha leaned closer to hiss in his face: “Now let me ask you something serious…Where is Mariarita? Where is my daughter?”

And there’s the trigger pulled.

Ciro couldn’t break free from the choke but he knew he had a gun hidden under his jacket, this could be his best chance to fight back. But before his shaking hand reach to the gun, Anton shot his bullet straight to his brain already.

“I…” He struggled to answer, until he realized he had no answer.

“You fucking killed her, am I right?” Anton narrowed his redden eyes, more force sent to Ciro’s neck where he had left bright red marks already, “You fucking killed our daughter, and now you said you still deserve to live another day? Useless bitch!”

I don’t.

Ciro felt his blood plumping so fast in his veins, disgust and rage filled the icy blue eyes before him sharp as a knife carving through his blurry vision, the lack of oxygen made his throat burned and eyes watered.

Although he wouldn’t want to die here, he knew this day would come, he would die in some pathetic way like the disgusting shit he was. He had destroyed everything he loved, he couldn’t save the man once saved his life, he killed the only one accepted him even when he was broken and shattered, and he was the one responsible for his daughter’s brutal death. He might be still struggling, but deep down he well knew that Anton was always right, he was never good for anyone, not for his Alpha or for himself, not for the ones he loved or for his brothers, he was flaw by design and he deserved all the punishments incoming. The Alpha cursed some more but he couldn’t hear anything at this point apart from his own broken breathes, the world spun and his ears rung louder. Maybe this would be the end, and he knew he deserved to be choked to death.

_Genna’…_

His fingered reach to the grip of the small pistol he had under his jacket, it took almost all of his strength to get it out in a swing and point it right below Anton’s jaw. Anton’s eyes widened in surprised, obviously didn’t except he carrying in a gun, his fingers loosen and although the purple red marks on his neck were terrified to see, he finally dropped back to the ground with a long breathe.

“Get you fucking hands off me, or I’ll fucking pull the trigger.”

His voice was so dried and husky, yet the threaten seemed to work out in his favor. Anton hesitated for only a split second, then he back off a few steps, apparently didn’t want his head blew.

“Let me go.” After a long silent stare, that was what left Anton’s mouth, “Don’t shoot, I won’t bother you again, just let me go.” It was more of a negotiation than a pleading, seeing his pheromone couldn’t pressure Ciro any more, Anton decided to stop spiking his scent and lower his aggressive voice, now much more polite and calm.

It would be the perfect chance, probably his only chance as well, to end this shithead’s life and stop him from bothering Ciro, but a voice from distance in his head was telling him that Anton had the right to be furious and he was her father, too.

He’s not wrong, this gun should be pointing at the opposite direction now.

His hand was still shaking, but he could aim well within such short distance, the other man dared not to make sudden moves anymore, and Ciro felt his breath finally calm down to normal.

“Get lost, and if I ever see you again, you’re a dead man in no time.” That’s all he could say before staring at the tall figure silently turned and walked away quickly, the silver hair disappeared in the chilly darkness, everything quieted down to normal like nothing similar to a near death experience had happened just a minute ago.

Adrenaline dropped and he couldn’t help but sit down on the ground, back rested against the cold wall and the freezing air seemed to start flowing again. He might had just made the worst decision in his life, if things could go any worse, which was highly possible, he didn’t trust Anton to keep that on edge promise, and if he ever knew him, Anton was never a forgiving kind.

What kind of shit mess he got himself into this time?

Ciro tried to analyze the cards rationally, but his head was still spinning and it hurt all over his abused body. He couldn’t go back to the hotel now if his resident was exposed, he may be safe from ambush tonight since Anton knew he carried a gun, but god knows what kind of fucked up would be waiting for him the next time he stepped out of that hotel room. So where could he go now? Enzo would be glad to take him in, but he had zero intention to explain all this to that intrusive idiot and he had an image to uphold before his little gang. He had no one, and this was just another prove.

He could go find Genny, but he really didn’t want to, and Genny may not welcome him anyway.

Speaking of his fucked up relationship with Genny Savastano…

He used to be cocky and proud that he manipulated an Alpha so well in his hand, until Genny grew up and saw through his tricks, and every time he tried to make it up, it only got more and more fucked.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can I just make the right choice like I used to do?

To be honest, he had no idea why Genny still wanted him, it’s not like when he was still the young and confident lad when they first met, and Genny was certainly not that dumb kid anymore. So what else would Genny still want from him? He had nothing more to offer apart from helping him get the power back, this ugly body was broken and torn as well, yet every time they met, there seemed to be some sort of tension between them, shooting out from the other man’s burning gaze and the way he clenched his teeth. Genny was always so pissed at him, at the way he treated Enzo and everything he said, he was still greedy for more, but what was that he wanted from this empty vessel?

Or else Genny would never trust him again after all these, hell, he wouldn’t even trust himself.

Enough for that, he wiped away the dried blood on his cut lips, somewhere between his ribs still hurt like a bitch, and he’s really freezing out here in the dark.

And fuck, he really needed a smoke.

Ciro raised himself up from the ground, pulled the jacket hood back over his ringing head and put away his pistol. He might still need it tonight at some point, so he had to be very careful. He decided to go find Genny and ask for a safe house since he couldn’t go back to the hotel now, it would be a less risky solution to the problem in hand.

He had to get to Genny’s house as quick as possible, and it was not an effortless thing to do with his body hurt all over, so he needed a pack of cigarette first.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Back Against The Wall](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzXlpQkXjKk) by Cage The Elephant. A post-Honduras Genny song I like <strike>which is completely irrelevant to this fic</strike>.  
"Blanket of silence makes me want to sink my teeth in deep  
Burn all the evidence of fabricated disbelief  
Pull back the curtains, took a look into your eyes  
My tongue has now become a platform for your lies"

**+20 / Chronic Migraine**

The little spot Genny gave him was actually warm and cozy, just around Naples and seemed to be a small apartment area that no one really cared to look for, Ciro would be safe here, at least for now, and that’s decent enough for him to continue his plan with Enzo and all of that shit. His head hurt a lot, partly due to the beating he took, partly because Genny shouted angrily to his face again and he had no idea why. Well, he had an idea why, but there’s nothing much for him to do except for keeping his mouth shut and getting back to business ASAP.

The only thing was that when he finally kept his mouth shut, Genny’s the one having second thought and trying to find something to fill the awkwardly quiet space when they drove up to this place. Genny was being moody and unpredictable, cursed to his face telling him to shut up one second ago, then suddenly switched back to that retarded awkward kid grazing his rings and stealing gazes like he’s detecting Ciro’s mood. Ciro was honestly too tired to play with that, so he just leaned against the car window listening to the engine sound, letting all the chaotic thoughts strangle him again and he never had a choice to revolt.

And he finally had some decent food since, well, since the last time they met, all thanks to the great Gennaro Savastano. He was actually starving when Genny took him to a proper restaurant, but after a few chunky bites, he just stared at the still pretty filled plate and the smells of chilly meatball sauce made him nausea like a motherfucker. That must have something to do with his shitty eating habit recently, or because Anton just absolutely busted his guts out.

Oh good, I just broke myself a little bit more, can’t even enjoy a meal properly now.

He tried to scrape some more food inside his mouth but it became more of a torment instead of a feast, so he gave up when the plate was half empty, hoping the nausea would just go away soon. Genny thew him a few deep gazes that were somewhere in between concerned and annoyed, but they didn’t say a word to each other throughout the whole meal.

His mind was troubled as usual, and looking at Genny’s expression only seemed to make it worse. He had always hated this, since the first time he turned an Omega, he hated this fucking pitiful feeling of being the subject of empathy, weak and second-rate not because of his ability but his identity. That’s why he never told anyone, not even Genny, the only one seemed closed enough to him once upon a time could be called a friend. No thanks, he was disgust at himself enough, and really didn’t want to deal with the moody Savastano at all.

That’s the reason why when Genny dropped him off at the apartment house and asked him if he needed anything else, he shook his head and lit another cigarette to show his intention of leaving the topic alone, or just being left alone. He didn’t need anyone before, and he would like to keep it this way. Genny looked pissed when he basically smashed the key on the table and slammed the door shut, but well, he looked pissed all the time, so Ciro didn’t even bother to ask, he just sat behind the heavy curtain by the living room window and listened to the car engine angrily roared till it disappeared in distance.

Which was why later that night, Ciro started to regret his decision yet again when he felt something had changed in his body chemistry. Then he remembered, hell, he supposed to take a doze last night which was interrupted by his shithead ex-Alpha, and he’s about to miss tonight’s doze as well.

Second thought, maybe he shouldn’t be that cold and detached to Genny when he indeed needed some extra help after all.

Now where could he get the suppressants? These stuffs were not exactly illegal, but you had to actually go see a doctor to get the pills, which was the same as telling everyone you’re an Omega and completely defeated the purpose already. Now he’s not the one handling drug business any more while being isolated and concealed, finding an underground dealer in this unfamiliar area would be challenging, plus he didn’t carry much cash with him when the accident happened last night. The quickest way would be going back to his hotel and get all the suppressants he had, but that would just be risky as fuck especially when he was intentionally tying to avoid going back.

However, he really hated feeling the chemistry changed inside his body, he could feel his body temperature raised a little, smelled his own pheromone scent from time to time, made him feel weak and vulnerable for no reason and he just hated it so much. Furthermore, he had been under suppressants for so long now it’s kind of scary to think about what would happen if he keep skipping dozes.

Ciro had been living in dilemmas for such a long time, all the thoughts and possible solutions never seemed to point to the same direction, sometimes he wondered what did he truly want, but his answers were nothing more than contradiction itself. A part of him felt so ashamed of the fact that he’s still breathing, like every day was a punishment and he was doomed to live with suffering and guilt, and he just selfishly wanted all of it to stop; the other part of him struggled to survive and still had a tiny hope of remerged from the hell, coming back to the top of the world and just one more day, he could still plan it for one more day. And a part of him knew he really needed Genny right now, just because he was caught off guard this time and he had no emergence plan working; another part of him was telling himself to take care of his own business properly, he didn’t _have to_ bother Genny again, he owned him too much already, even before this safe house thing, before that unforeseeable heat and Genny just…Anyway, he owned him much more than he could ever repay, he promised to help Genny get his family back, and that’s about it. He had nothing else to offer, only this Omega body left, which just lost its appeal ‘cos Genny had tasted it already. Then how could he ever repay him when Genny made it pretty clear that he could go “fuck his appreciation”? Or, easier way, he didn’t need to repay anything, he just used him like a tool and took whatever he wanted like before, and kept on living with heavier guilt and more disgust at himself, it’s not that bad after all, how much more could he be self-destructive anyway?

His constant migraine didn’t help at all, and if he couldn’t figure this out before tomorrow night, he might have to go with his guts again.

**+44 / Back Against The Wall**

This was just another horrible idea, he could already tell, but there’s no turning back now. Ciro got back to his hotel the next day after sunset, alone, with a gun.

Genny didn’t come back to check on him the next day, of course he didn’t, and Ciro was absolutely fine with that. He was probably with Azzurra or tying to do so, he told him the other day that they had a plan to secretly meet up in the cinema, and he should be doing so. After all, Genny still had a precious family, a wife and a son, why would he care about Ciro in any sense?

Yet he had to find a way to solve his problem in hand, this time without Genny’s help, it wouldn’t make much difference. Although going back to his hotel defeated the whole purpose of a safe house, it seemed to be the best card in hand. It’s just for a short while, Ciro thought gripping the pistol tight, the plan was going back to his hotel room, taking all the pills and most of his cash left in the drawer, then vacating the place as quick as possible. He only needed to be in the room for a few minutes, with a gun in hand, besides Anton might not be hunting him at all, that could be all because he was actually paranoid about nothing all this time.

Well, it’s not like he had many choices really, considering the situation he’d been in, and literally every second longer he was without suppressants, the more he felt the dangerous shift in his body happening. He was breaking down again, this time more vulnerable and out of control, he was afraid of being ripped from inside and taken down with the last dignity he had. It’s a miracle that his brain was still functioning, yet he was pretty sure that if he missed the doze tonight, everyone came neared him would smelled his Omega scent and everything would be so screwed.

It was such a terrible idea that he’s going to regret, but since he had already reached the door without an incident, might as well go all in.

The lock clicked, a slight push made the door slide inward without a sound, the darkness inside the room was scratched by hallway light, blood was pumping so fast in his veins when he stepped into that darkness didn’t even dare to breath louder.

Everything in his room was about exactly the same as he remembered when he left, all the lights were off, balcony window half way open, ashtray and empty beer bottles standing on the desk. Ciro let out a small sigh in relief, maybe this time it was indeed he panicked and being too paranoid, nothing was ever going to happen after all.

First thing first, no time for relief or self-pitying, he had to deal with the emergent situation where his body was screaming for the suppressants. He quickly reached to the drawer in front of the mirror, taking out the pill bottles from inside when a sudden wave of terror stroke him without mercy. Something was not right, and he had blindly walked into a deadly trap yet again.

“So the kitten decided to show up after all.”

His heart stopped beating for more than a couple of split seconds and he dropped the pill bottle with a shaky hand. The voice gave him creeps all over the back of his neck, panic came so swiftly that he almost forgot to react, his right hand went back to grab the gun under his jacket but before he could pull it out, a clear sound of gun loading filled his ears like a lightning fracturing the dark sky. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Sound of footsteps coming closer, a dark figure approached him from behind the balcony curtain, Ciro looked into the mirror before him and see a pair of dark eyes looking right into his own, deep blue light flickering in the smug-filled pupils, a burning hand reached his own freezing one and took his life jacket away in a blink, “Now turn around slowly, don’t try to be smart or you’ll regret it.” Anton threw the gun all the way towards the balcony floor, a place where Ciro could never easily approach without the other noticing.

“Were you looking for your little pills?” Anton took out a small pill bottle in hand, he must had found it in his room as well, tracing the bottle cap with his thumb and the playful expression on his face was almost too much to take. Ciro would like to remain calm and compose if he could, but he was awfully panicking right now that he couldn’t even hold his breathe in a normal pace rhythm, he’s breathing air yet the oxygen just wouldn’t go through his heavy constricted chest.

So this was it? He ruined everything again with his foolishness, and his promise became another vain lie.

He didn’t even get the chance to say his farewell to Genny…

“Can’t let you have that, after all, an Omega should smell like an Omega…” Anton put down the pill bottle and turned on the bedside lamp, his silver hair shone even more under the dim light, “Now you smell much better, like how you used to be, sweet with a sip of fear, so beautiful.” He leaned closer to take an inhale of the slight pheromone scent of Ciro, while the cold and rigid gun barrel pressed against the soft skin under his chin.

“Just fucking kill me while you still can, fucker!” He clenched his teeth and burst out cursing the second he smelled the clave and Irish cream scent of the Alpha, a scent familiar from the far memory yet disturbing and stronger than a splash of cold water to the face.

Ciro hated this, he hated all of this, it reminded him of the days when he was weak and vulnerable, and if he could smell the pheromone now, it won’t be long till his body chemistry totally screwed and he wouldn’t be able to control himself physically when he finally kneel down before the Alpha. His life was now in the other one’s hand, luckily he had one more solution to solve the problem, which was provoking the rage and getting himself killed by the gun. Ha, how difficult could that be?

Anton responded him with a slap that made his head started ringing again, it might be less unbearable if he was not already covered with cuts and bruises. The burning fingers climbed up his jaw and formed a firmly grab to make him look at the Alpha in the eyes, Anton’s breathe sending right on to his face: “You see, Ciro, here’s your problem, you are good at manipulating people, using your sweet little mouth to get others do what you want. But people just failed to see this, that yourself are just as easy to control as everyone else, once they see the little weakness you hided under your sneak skin, you’re just as bad as those clowns you thought you had control over…I’m not one of those stupid fuckers, Ciro, I know who you are better than anyone else in the world, I’ve seen it all, _felt_ it all. I know the game you are playing, and I’m not gonna let you get off this one so easily…You have a lot of debt to pay, fucking ugly Omega, and I’m gonna let you regret running away from me by first marking you.”

The relentless note in those words made Ciro shiver even more, a violent shove threw his face onto the white motel mattress before he could respond. A punch to the side interrupted his movement trying to get back up, Anton grabbed his neck and pushed him down forcefully, strong body trapped him from behind, than a sharp pain made Ciro panicking more when he realized that specific spot on the back of his neck was penetrated by a pair of incisors. His broken “no” was muffled by the mattress when he heard Anton laughed against his neck, harsh lips pressed down to that sensitive skin and the next thing he could feel was the Alpha pheromone invading his body. It was so strange that the feeling of an aggressive scent entering his body, fighting the residual suppressant which was losing its effect in every second. His head was in dizziness and the strength in his limbs was pulled away in a haze, he felt his arms were lift by a pair of strong hands from behind and the jacket was gone, leaving a thin t-shirt and showing the bare skin that wasn’t covered by the soft fabric.

“No-no, stop!” His voice was shaking as he trying to turned his head and pushed the other away but failed, “Don’t…Like you said before, I am no longer young and attractive, there are plenty of Omegas out their you can take, I’m not worth your effort…Don’t do this!”

“Well, maybe you are not that bad, I mean, as an Omega,” Anton bit down harshly on his shoulder, causing a low groan, “Male Omegas are pretty rare these days, besides, you were suppose to be mine anyway, Ciro, you are mine and I’ll make sure no other disgusting Alpha could ever touch you again…”

If he couldn’t break free, he preferred to be blasted by the gun at least. So Ciro tried again to pushed the head that’s devouring his neck away, this time didn’t care about the gun pointing at his back, yet the Alpha pressed his head down like he’s planing to suffocate him with the mattress. His knees were pinned down firmly by Anton’s legs, the more Alpha pheromone he was forced to take in, the less strength left in his body enabled him to fight.

He’s about to reach the limitation, it’s physical and he knew that soon he would be doomed, again. Panicked shivers and shorten breathes didn’t help either, because it’s like fighting the inevitable, even worse than being thrown into the middle of the sea or a stupid Russian roulette. He had no hope or chance to win this time, trapped under a ruthless cold-hearted monster couldn’t even end his own life.

No, not this time, he said he wouldn’t yield again…

Ciro knew he’s losing it all, when a heated hand scrambled his t-shirt up and greedy fingers climbed up his spine, lingered a few more seconds longer on the small of his back like the Alpha was enjoying his trembling torso. He couldn’t take it again, falling back to the darkness was less than desirable in every way.

He would beg, he would make the last struggle and take down all his dignity and pride, only if he believe any of these would work. He saw no way out, no place and on one to reach for help, he fucked up everything like what he was good at, taking all the risks and swinging in the dangerous shallow water, pulling trigger of the roulette just to test how long he could last, pissing Genny off for no reason now he had to pay the massive price.

_Genna’_…

He had to try, no matter how hopeless and pathetic it might seem, at least he would try it for Genny, and the promise he had made to him.

“Anton,” Ciro found his voice shattered and pathetically weak against the mattress, yet the man behind him paused for a split second when he heard the name, “_please_…I’m begging you, don’t do this. I’m nothing, I worth nothing, the bond we had was broken for so long, no use to rebuild this burden while you can have other beautiful Omegas for the rest of your life, just stop it…”

“So you do remember my name, I was wondering if it’s that difficult to say my name out loud, or you are just afraid to do so.” Anton seemed calm down a little, without the ruthless frenzy in tone, his voice was low and steady exactly like Ciro remembered from years ago. The movement of his hand lingered some more and it almost felt like he’s hesitating, he let go of Ciro’s neck just to give him a moment to breath, then the warm lips came back without mercy. “That’s right, that’s the proper tone to speak to your Alpha… I could almost believe you if I’m not sensing this fucking smell of another Alpha on you, you fucking _whore_, and I’m about to teach you and your slutty ass a lesson.”

Fuck, what’s the next plan here?

Right, he had none.

Ciro inhaled harshly when he felt the Alpha pheromone injecting to his already losing control body yet again, his mind was messed and the forceful fingers on him almost felt like in distance, and all he could think about was his inner fight with himself. A part of him struggled to keep rational, the other part, the wining part, was screaming to yield to the stronger force just to keep himself alive. But what’s the point of living, when you could no longer control anything with the right mind? Ciro decided a long time ago that he wouldn’t go back to the days of blindness, all these years he had been taking pills just to avoid being vulnerable or being a breeding tool to others, he would rather die a horrible death if he had a choice.

But the true desperation came the last second of his rational mind, realizing that he had no choice whatsoever, he was trapped and had his back against the wall, no time left for whatever he originally planed for. He could pretend to be an emotionless machine and a cunning sneak if he wished, but he was made of flesh and blood after all, no matter how unwilling he was to admit.

And he had something left to say to Genny, behind all the masquerading he put on, underneath the now seemed worthless little pride, he still had something else to say if he would be true to himself.

_I’m sorry_…

This would be his last word, if only Genny could ever hear it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've finished this one. I always consider love confession one of my biggest weaknesses in fanfic writing, but here I am. I wrote this whole story in a very intermittent and inconsistent way and without beta so it looks very random, and, just bad.  
Whatever that, if you read the whole fic, well I'm really sorry as always..Why am I still doing this?? Why am I still alive anyway? And I just have this new idea of...em, I should just shut up.

**+45 / Gaping Head Wound**

Genny had been busy tracking down the mother fucking Anton guy ever since he left the apartment he gave to Ciro as a shelter. Even though Ciro specifically asked him to let this go but, yeah, like he cared a fuck of Ciro’s stupid words! Ciro’s not in his right mind, he could sure that much, but what ever was his right mind? Being confident to manipulate and scheme everything step by step was certainly not what Genny was wish to see, and hell, he didn’t even know what himself wanted to see.

Anyhow, it took some time and extra effort but as long as you had some creditable clues and money in hand, nothing was impossible for Genny Savastano. From the information he got, this Anton guy was some sort of local gangster more than a decade ago, had a little power but not as strong as he thought. The guy suddenly disappeared at one point and no more information after that, guessing it may be a form of revenge from Ciro after he escaped the devil. Well that’s not good enough, not even death, Genny let out a snort of contempt, thinking about how to track down this bastard and make his life a living hell.

But before that, he should probably go back to check on Ciro, he’s worried about him, to be honest, and Ciro really didn’t look like he was able to take care of himself. Not that Genny was making it a new responsibility for himself, taking care of Ciro, but he cared about him in general, though he never said this to his face. He doubted he would ever say it to his face, after everything that happened, their relationship was strange in every way and he was not ready to confess his vulnerable feelings for him, and he knew Ciro was for hell not ready for anything even close to a confession.

Fine, he would play this game along with Ciro, waiting as long as he could, ‘cos he’s not gonna give up on this one, never.

Food was what he thought about first, because there weren’t much food stored in the safe house at all, he should definitely brought some fresh food back to Ciro, he didn’t eat much when they had lunch together yesterday; there were some clothes in the closet of the master bedroom, that might be enough for Ciro now, seeing how he didn’t seem to care at all about that. And yeah, he knew he was the one slamming the door and storming away yesterday, but that’s not his fault that Ciro kept pissing him off with that carelessness. He was somehow still pretending there was nothing special between them, fuck his bald shithead brain, like he was thinking about getting some benefits from him like a cold-blooded animal. But well, they fought a lot during these years, and he could never really be furious at him, the anger instantly went away the second he thought about those beautiful eyes he had, olive starlights behind the amber color, hard as blades yet soft as mellow, some view he could never had enough no matter how.

So he bought some food, prepared himself with a stone cold face but was willing to make compromise as usual, and returned to the apartment only to find the lifeless empty space and the panic feeling striking back his head.

Where could he go, for food maybe? Ciro’s not a stupid boy after all, he didn’t need someone checking on him 24/7, maybe he was worried about nothing…

Genny sat in the living room sofa staring at his phone waiting for another hour, and when no one even came close to the apartment door, he really couldn’t stand this anymore. Something must had gone wrong, Ciro wouldn’t left for so long without finding a way to tell him, and if he’s with Sangue Blu or others, he would at least inform him in some ways, even just leaving a writing note on the desk.

Something was wrong, and he had no way of finding Ciro, he knew he shouldn’t believe that when Ciro told him he needed nothing and would be just fine all alone.

He couldn’t even start to think…

Right, he hotel room was probably the best place to search, maybe Ciro was really triggered by his arbitrary departure and “fucked off with his appreciation.”

Damn it, Genny jumped up from the seat, picked up a gun hidden under the kitchen table, and stormed out the room just like last time with fists clenching in anger, but this time with himself. He would apologize, he really would, because the little pride of his suddenly became nothing compared to Ciro’s wellness, if he would be honest with himself.

He was willing to do anything to…

That’s why when he reached the Ciro’s hotel room door, hearing sounds from inside that were similar to punches and crying in pain, he bashed the door open swiftly with one hand — well, the door wasn’t locked.

Thank god it wasn’t, because the horrible scene before his eyes was like a flame burning in his brain, making his pheromone stroke high when he pointed the pistol on the back of the silver head.

“Get, the fuck, off, him.” Genny was surprised to hear his own voice low and steady, a form of true fury and threat that are not as a response to impulse, but final confrontation. He cared no more and feared no more, betting all of his life force to protect someone he…_loved_.

He had no difficulty admit that now. For now at least.

Ciro was pressed face down on the mattress with half naked torso trembling like a falling leaf, his jacket was tossed to the bedside floor, cotton t-shirt rolled up to show the bare skin of his back and waist, on top of those nasty purple bruises laid the firm hands of that fucking bastard. The silver hair guy fit the description of that particular Anton he researched, who was trapping Ciro on the bed with his own body and a small pistol in hand.

The room filled with another Alpha’s aggressive pheromone and the familiar smell he knew from Ciro, indicating the latter was off suppressant. That must be the reason he risked his life to come back here, fuck, he should had known.

“Don’t risk it,” Genny pointed the gun further with some force against the back of Anton’s skull, they were battling with pheromone consistently, but he knew he was wining, because Anton had fear in the hesitation, he had none, “You can try to compete the trigger speed with me, but how much wining chance you think you have, betting your own life?”

Fuck, and if Anton actually decided to go for this scary game and won, Genny would rip his own face off in regret.

This was definitely not the right time to have any doubt, and this time the luck seemed to stand by his side because Anton raised himself up hesitantly, and finally pointing the gun away from Ciro’s back.

“Ok, relax, don’t shoot.” His cold voice gave Genny creeps instantly, but he didn’t even move his gun. The second Anton’s body fully detached from Ciro, the latter startled away from the two and fell back to the side of balcony with panic written all over his face where tear traces were more than evident.

“Shut the fuck up!” Genny crushed the gun barrel to his head one more time, grabbed Anton’s gun with force and threw it away to the side, the gun landed on the balcony flood just beside Ciro’s feet.

“Fuck, relax will you? I can even see your face like this…But I take it you are the one trying to mark my boy, aren’t you?” The cold and sarcastic voice made Genny almost pull the fucking trigger, he knew the dickhead was trying to provoke him and make him lose control, two Alpha competitors always liked to do that.

Genny didn’t answer, but at the corner of his eyes he saw Ciro slowly bent down and grabbed the gun by his feet. It’s lucky that standing behind that shithead could hide his little distracted gaze, but he must had seen Ciro’s movement as well, because Anton suddenly raised his voice while turning his head slightly toward Ciro: “Oh Ciro, hand me that gun, or just kill him with it, I’m fine with that.”

What the fuck is this about?

But more terrified than that, Ciro raised his hand with a pair of confused eyes, gaze wandering between the two Alphas, seemed to be uncertain about which direction to point at.

The siren in his head was ringing so loud, but it was already too late.

Fuck! He totally forgot about that, that how unstable Ciro could be without suppressants, and how much pheromone Anton had injected in Ciro before he showed up, that might be enough to stir Ciro’s messy head and make him follow his words.

“Ciro…” Genny tried to calm his voice as much as possible, but Anton cut him off in a hurry to urge the revolt: “Ciro! Kill him, that’s an order, and you know you should listen to me…Sense that Alpha pheromone inside you? Who would that belong to? Ciro, which one of us is your real Alpha?”

“Shut up! One more word and you’re a dead man!” He should’d killed this fucker without a blink, and now he’s using Ciro like some sort of fucking tool!

Ciro’s eyes were still shifting, he frowned like he was trying his best to process the information, the 9mm in his hand slide a little toward where Genny’s standing.

Come on, come on, Ciro, you don’t have to listen to him, you are way better than this, you know me, I’m your…

I’m your…

And nothing, he could form one word even though a thousands thoughts ran across his mind, all he could do was staring silently into Ciro’s eyes, those beautiful eyes he dreamed about every night, could well be the last thing he saw in his life.

Anton was trying to provoke Ciro once again, but he didn’t even catch what that shithead had said, he couldn’t object a thing, neither could he tear his burning eyes away from the man he loved.

Ciro’s breath shortened and the light in his eyes flickered some more, until suddenly his gaze fell onto something lying on the balcony floor. Genny followed the gaze, and he saw that as well — that was the photo, or the teared pieces of the photo of Deborah and Mariarita, the one Ciro had folded in his wallet all these years and stuck in the mirror frame. Obviously, teared to tiny slices by this shithead Alpha in front of him, most likely out of outrage and jealousy.

That was like a strong dose of adrenaline, one peak was powerful enough to haul the sense back inside Ciro’s head, his eyes fell back onto Anton with clear loathing and revulsion while the gun he had in hand pointing directly to the sliver hair man.

“Neither.”

He’s not crying anymore, and the indifference in his voice was enough for Genny to let out a relief sigh — He knew that voice, he knew the one he loved, the rational and decisive one he always adored was back.

“…What?” Anton gasped out in confusion, unprepared to response to Ciro’s words.

“Neither one of you is my Alpha,” Ciro kindly offered his explanation, now with two guns all pointing at Anton, he seemed to fear no more as well, “I yield to no one.”

That was Ciro’s answer, and he had the absolute right to say so.

Blinking, Genny put down his gun in Anton’s surprise, but he knew exactly what he was doing, and knew he would never regret it. No matter how much he wanted to shred that dickshit’s face into pieces, no matter how deep was his affection for the man, no matter how terrible his heart was aching seeing Ciro shattered and wounded, it was not the revenge of his, but of Ciro himself.

“Ciru’,” Genny had said with a tranquil and braced voice, “do the thing you think it’s right, not because someone else told you to, not even me.”

“What the fuck does that supp—”

“You had your chance, Antoine,” Ciro cut the man off without hesitation, the definite spark in his arctic amber eyes didn’t even shiver a slight, “And this, is for Mariarita.”

And then he pulled the trigger.

**+47 / Shattered Hearts**

When the gunshot echo gradually fell into silence at the end, Ciro crashed down to the floor beside the bed, his fingers were not even shaking anymore, just like all the strength was suddenly withdrew from his body so he dropped the pistol on the ground, as well as himself.

The other Alpha’s pheromone died out slowly as the life force disappeared for good, but Genny couldn’t feel any relief when he saw Ciro crashing down in the corner, burying his face in his knees in silently. No matter how hard he tried to pretend, Ciro Di Marzio was not an emotionless machine, he was allowed to break down after all.

Genny had no idea how to comfort him, or if he needed his comfort at all. He approached Ciro slowly, watching his shoulders shivered in a silent cry, and he bent down in front of him, reached out a hand to land on Ciro’s shoulder in an attentive way he had never tried before, like he was afraid of scaring some wilds away.

“Ciru’…” For some unknown reasons, his voice was more shaky than when he was confronting an asshole who he wanted to tear apart.

The man didn’t response at first, a few more seconds of silence later, he raised up his head and wiped all the clear liquor traces with the winkled white shirt he wore. His eyes were red and tried, even more than yesterday, presenting as a strong evidence of such a hard day he had survived, even if you ignore a dead man on the other end of the room with a gaping head wound.

Speaking of which, it’s such a shame that the fucker died so quickly and easily, if he could have his way, he would let that shithead suffered in pain and regret for the rest of his pitiful life for everything he had done to Ciro. However, things were done, and it wasn’t his call to revenge no matter how.

“I’m sorry, Ciru’, I should’ve come earlier, I…” It was true, he thought grinding his teeth, if he could come to get Ciro earlier, that shithead wouldn’t even have a chance to touch him at all, “Are you alright? …Did he…?”

“No, I’m fine,” Thank god for that, Ciro answered while trying to get himself up from the floor, though his weary legs wouldn’t cooperate much, so Genny offered him a hand to help, “I…should be the one saying sorry, Genna’…If I was not such a fucking coward, I could’ve killed him the other night and none of this would ever happen.”

“No! You have nothing to apologize for, it’s all that fucker’s fault and I wish I could make him suffer a lot more.”

Ciro didn’t answer, as soon as he was back on his feet, he went for the bedside table and grabbed a pill bottle inside the drawer, popping in two tablets like it was his second nature. “I came back for the pills, well, I guess it’s just another disappointed failure of mine. And now with all this, I…” The suppressants kicked in gradually, the Omega pheromone disappeared in the air, but Ciro was still fighting with Anton’s residual pheromone inside his body.

“It’s all finished now, the past stays in the past forever, you need to worry no more.”

“Well technically, no, I have a dead body on my hotel floor to deal with right now, I don’t think I can take a rest just yet…”

“Fuck that, I’ll have someone cleaning it up, don’t worry about it, just…come back with me for a little drink.”

“I don’t think…”

“Ciro, just leave it, _please_, I…need to talk to you about something.”

Ciro’s eyes landed back on his face and studied him carefully for a moment, but he accepted the invitation in the end: “…Ok.”

Honestly, Genny had no plan in head on how to pursue this at all, that’s why he was driving Ciro around the neighborhood aimlessly for five whole minutes but Ciro didn’t even ask where were they actually going. He looked weary and melancholy, probably still recovering from the ambush, which Genny just couldn’t help himself but grinding his teeth in rage. But that’s all done now, Ciro was safe with him at least. Maybe…it’s best to find a place to let him rest for a while, and the closest location would be that little spot he gave Ciro earlier.

There were a lot of things he wanted to say for the very first time in his life, something he could no long pretend or refuse, but he was never really good at wording his thoughts, and this time he truly hope he wouldn’t screw everything up.

When Genny found some beers in the fridge they were standing in the middle of the kitchen of the little apartment, he handed one bottle to Ciro who was leaning against the kitchen table, staring at the ground like he wasn’t paying much attention to him. The subtle silence between them was somewhat more bearable than he usually would think, Genny was not always comfortable with the awkward blank, but he wouldn’t push it since it was indeed a hard day for everyone.

“Ciro…Are you alright? I mean, for real, how are you holding up?” He was worried about the man, like some normal old friends would do, or something else and something more he couldn’t say it out loud yet.

“I’m fine,” He didn’t like fine though, and wasn’t very interested in drinking at all, seeing how he put down the chilled bottle on kitchen table after the first sip, “Well, could be better.” The latter answer was more convincing, but Genny was glad to hear Ciro’s voice became stable and calm once again. He wasn’t fond of those pills at all, but if taking the suppressants would make Ciro feel better and more secure, what’s his place to judge? Besides, he kinda figured it out by now that Ciro’s internal anxiety messed with his brain more than the actual side effects, so cutting him off would be the least wise option.

“Genna’, I…I want to apologize for all of this, for real this time. I didn’t really know what I was doing before and when I saw him I just…panicked. None of those would have happened, a dead body in my room included, if I was in the right mind.”

“I told you before and I would tell you the same again, you don’t have to apologize.” Genny blinked a few times, the sincerity in Ciro’s eyes somehow made his heart dropped a little, “I wasn’t doing this solely for you, if that makes any sense. And you were right back in the hotel, when you said…When you said, neither of us was your Alpha, and I have no control over you, I just want you to know that.”

His words apparently confused Ciro because that pair of caramel eyes narrowed in uncertainty, scheming and comprehending what he had said and about to say.

“I wasn’t…You know when you…went into the unexpected heat, I wasn’t helping you because I want an Omega, it was never my purpose.” Fuck, why was he feeling so embarrassed to say this out loud? Ciro’s expression was not encouraging him to go on as well, but at least he didn’t shut him up or punch him in the face yet, he might as well get it all out in one breath, “I care about you, Ciru’, I…”

But no, it was so much harder than he thought, and he was convinced somehow that after all this years, he could vent all the feeling that scratched the itch in his heart without a blink. But looking at Ciro like this, like he was waiting for some kind of sentences, weary yet wouldn’t give up stratagem, was like a blast of cold water to his face. It was never that easy, and the man couldn’t trust him completely no matter how many times he tried, and didn’t seem to even be capable of doing so.

Ciro raised an eyebrow after a long stare: “So, what can I do for you?”

“Fuck, you…you don’t get it, don’t you? Nothing, I ain’t asking you do nothing for me! There’s no catch here! I…!”

Say it, just, get him look at me in the eyes and say it out loud.

“…I want you, Ciru’, don’t you see this already? All this years I’ve been trying to convince myself the other way, thinking I wouldn’t dare to bring it up, not because you’re a Beta mated with another woman, but because you’re so special to me and I couldn’t risk to lose this relationship, to lose you…But I can’t fool myself anymore, it’s a feeling more than just, friends, brothers, companions, it’s love, don’t you see? I…I fucking want you like no others, I want you and not just your smart brains to benefit myself, but your everything, fuck, I think I love you.”

Such a long confession that no matter how many times Genny had prepared in his head, it was always slightly strange to say it out loud, as he biting down his lower lip and feeling his cheeks burned in a particular way.

“I don’t…understand,” Ciro looked even more confused than before, “So what’s that you want from me? I have nothing to…”

“I don’t want anything from you! It’s not about advantages and trades, it’s…Like I said before, I don’t want your appreciation, I never see you as someone, some _Omegas_, that I could take benefits from. I thought we were a great duo, I still think so, that together we can take over the whole world. But, I would trade the whole fucking world for you, just…I did everything to impress you when I was a stupid kid, thinking I could be like you one day, so confident and beautiful that I could never tear my eyes away. We might go down for separate roads but here we are, you see, I…” Genny took a long pause, stepped toward him to he could trap Ciro between his chest and the solid kitchen table; and it was somewhat hard to control himself from the Alpha nature to _not _use pheromone to impress the target, but that was the whole point, to show him that’s _not_ what he wanted to do, “I realized today I wasn’t doing all this in vain, and finally I am brave enough to confess, I was just always being the coward that fears to face the real me. I’m not asking you to pay me back, to help me out, or to sacrifice yourself for my sakes, fuck no, I’m asking if you see me the same way, or even just something close to that, I would ditch this entire world just to be with you…”

They stared at each other for so long and nothing apart from uneven breathes can be heard, until one of them backed off from the burning gaze and shooting his head downward, Ciro eyes suddenly reddened. His mouth twisted for a split second, letting out a deep sigh and when he finally spoke, his voice was shaking like they were back in that damn shithole hotel: “Genny…Wh-why did you just have to…say it?”

There it was, they finally came to this point where they couldn’t keep playing the pretending game anymore. He touched the forbidden and once the delicate crack opened, there’s nothing he could do expect for pushing it further.

“Because I meant it, I meant it till every bit. I know I want you more than anything, and I just can’t lie to myself, not anymore. What about you? Do you ever want me or all of these is just another game?”

“I’m…You can’t, you shouldn’t, all this…” Ciro took a deep breath, averting his gaze from the man just a few inches away, “You have a family, that’s the most important thing right now, you see? I’m not even half as good as your Azzurra, and you can’t leave little Pietro, you shouldn’t, you _mustn’t_. Of what I want…is completely irrelevant now, Genna’, I’m not saying it because Anton told me how worthless I am, but because I do care about you that I don’t want you to be like me, or worse, like that fucker dumping his own child. If anything I learnt from all of my fucked-ups, I know you should never leave your family, and certainly not for me.”

Genny listened to his heart beating so fast and loud that he couldn’t breathe properly, his heart ached in a way he never felt before, not even the time he got shot in the face by the very same person, all those vague memories of pain felt like nothing compared to this. Ciro was not saying nonsense and he knew it, he shouldn’t leave out the problem of this family, a dream-like women he mated and a precious son of his own blood, but giving up the man standing in front of him was not even an option crossing his brain.

“I know what you meant, I do, and believe me, I fucking hate myself for having the same feeling, you see? I thought I was never worth any kind of affection, and I was no longer capable of loving anyone anymore, but I was wrong,” Ciro’s head buried down a little lower, but he managed to continue with a quivering voice, “I love you, fuck, I love you, but I can’t be with you! I’m poison, I’m more broken than you thought, and that’s just a fact. I wish I could be that selfish and greedy like I used to be, to tell you that nothing else matters, but after what I’ve done to my family and all these happened, I…I’ve done things I’m not proud of, and I don’t want you to be like me, I love you so I don’t want you do the same as what I did…That’s what I _want_.”

That’s his answer to the confession, and Genny couldn’t even form a word without vision blurred involuntarily. He reached out a shaking hand to lift up Ciro’s chin, wanting to look at him in the eyes, but as his weary fingers touched those dark stubbles, a clear drop landed on the back of his hand burned so much that almost made him retreated.

Had he ever seen him crying before today? He didn’t think he had but the rare times he witnessed those beautiful eyes turned red and lashes humid were enough to make his heart drop. He couldn’t help but thinking this time it was his fault to make him cry, and he was truly foolish and useless like this, to make the only one he want to please now soaked in tears.

“God, Ciru’, you are not broken…”

“I am, fuck, I am, and don’t even…_Please_, just don’t make me reveal to you how broken I am as well, I can’t take it all in one day.” Ciro cut him off with a desperate note in his voice, now looking right back into his eyes, the clear drops slide down his cheeks though he struggled hard to control his emotion, “I can’t accept what it is you’re offering, and consider it my selfishness, I don’t want you to be vice and greedy like me. You have a bright future to come, if counting me out that is, and things would work out perfectly at the end if we keep everything unchanged.”

“…So this is how it goes now?” Genny couldn’t hold the tears in his eyes anymore, another god damn broken promise to prove how useless he was, yet the emotions got him so forcefully this time he could no longer resist, “This is what we are now? We love each other but can’t be together? In what world of bullshit does that make any sense?”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t deliberate on things that are not up to us, and this is one of them. Maybe in another world, Genna’, we could be just close friends, sincere colleagues, or even something more, but not in this one, we aren’t.” Ciro paused for a second, then he closed their distance in a hazy, fingers climbed up his jawline, somehow the light kiss pressed onto Genny’s lips was more tender than all of those he had experienced. The way Ciro’s moist eyelashes brushed against his skin felt like a slow motion in his head, though the man didn’t linger long. “We can still be together, I’m still with you, against all odds. I trust you enough to give up my life for you, and I will help you get back whatever that belongs to you and so much more, as I promised before.” He spoke again with a more composed voice, drying the tear traces with his winkled shirt yet again, “And in order to do that, you have to let me go. I’m _pleading_ you this, Genna’, if the day has come and we have to part ways once again, don’t hesitate to end it all, for this is my request, this is what I _want_.”

Now how could he ever agree with that? Why did Ciro just have to tear him all apart like this? If his devotion wasn’t all in vain, but he had to set him free yet again, how could he ever tell himself it was ok, it was all for the greater good? Ciro never beg anyone with this extant of sincerity ever, he said that’s what he wanted knowing Genny couldn’t oppose his own words, so he had to promise him he would fulfill his request. He couldn’t do otherwise ‘cos he’s not that selfish, not a fucking monster treating Ciro like a tool, he would respect his decision if he’s truly what he wanted. And he knew Ciro was right, there were things happened which they had no control over, they were never free from the start.

Now who was the one covered in cuts in bruises? Genny couldn’t tell, but he did know he’s heart was all shattered and bleeding when he finally nodded in silence, looking at the soft olive-colored lights in Ciro’s eyes.

“Thank you…Genna’, you can have me for anything, just not the kind of love you seek, and it’s the best for both of us,” Ciro sighed when he retreated the slightly shivering fingers from his wet cheeks, “One day, Genna’, when you are watching the sunset over the sea horizon, you would think of me and what we have accomplished, what we have missed and what he could’ve been, maybe in another life, and that’s enough for me to commemorate our sacrifice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's my take on Ciro, despite being the violent cold ass bitch like in canon, Ciro is a "novelty of the sacrifice" and has "tenderness of a caress", whatever that means, Marco. So obviously there's never a happy ending for G/C, and the problems seem to be on Ciro, either he's too broken to believe he deserve the love from Genny, or he's too broken to be the ultimate asshole that tells Genny to ditch his family for him, after everything that happened.  
I also think Genny's always soft inside, no matter what kind of shit happened in Honduras. It's just natural when you force a boy to grow up overnight, that he may like to shit on his old stupid self and everyone sees him that way, but he couldn't learn how to deal with all kinds of relationship overnight, no one could. And his relationship with Ciro's obvious the most complex and difficult type to deal with.  
Edit: Ciro cared about Genny's family cos he had none. It's not like he's so 'selfless' or THAT in love with Genny, more like a way to ease some of his own pain, knowing they could not work this out without tones of problems incoming, better just end it before it starts.  
About how the villain ended up in this one, I was about to let Genny be the ultimate hero but, eh no. I don't like writing A/O cos I don't want to make Ciro looking too weak. He's already broken and vulnerable in a way but he was a smart ass and was capable of revenge if he wanted to. Genny was not his mate or his Alpha, he had no say in helping Ciro decide cos they had to respect each other and Ciro's not his pet. So bear with my shit ending, no one cares anyway so.  
A side note, I kept hinting mental health issues with Ciro (and a bit with Genny) cos that's how I sense from the canon after everything. But I don't think it's direct enough to make a tag, maybe one day. Oh no, never, just shut up, me.


End file.
